CTR LEGACY THREAD

HopeLess · Post by **HopeLess** » Wed May 11, 2005 12:03 pm

It was fun to read.

HopeLess · Post by **HopeLess** » Wed May 11, 2005 12:07 pm

motherfuck, i missed this shit.

sorry guys. i been in and out and now sumemr school started, bah.

y'all both came with heat though. It sucks that it took so long to get to the last round, cause I think with the momentum both guys had this battle would have been even doper.

huge props to both finalists.

HOLLA!

Reggie · Post by **Reggie** » Wed May 11, 2005 5:01 pm

Myjah wrote:I bet a lot of people here don't know the real meaning to all those words.

Maybe we know the meanings of those words, but your poem was banal?

theaggravatedjew · Post by **theaggravatedjew** » Wed May 11, 2005 5:06 pm

Kid B · Post by **Kid B** » Thu May 12, 2005 10:17 am

I miss you
But being with you became an issue
Late nights parked in one place
As we started to get a taste
Of those moments so sour yet colorful
It was wonderful
And I couldn't begin to describe the way I felt about you then
You knew I lied, it was true I was screwing other women
Tearing the fabric of our trust and spinning deceptive cobwebs
Where lies and lust marked the beginning of our problems
It was too far between to value yet I held the light to see in
These rusty justifications were all I had, you were a fly human being
So now you're gone and I remember that September
When we laughed and watched the leaves morph into mahogany
Your words and the way you said them got to me
It was food for afterthought because after I thought about what you told me
The concept came to my conscience slowly
"Jezebel oh jezebel," you lambasted me with your brand of blasphemy
And I deserved every word of your sermon
Looking down below I saw what we shared
And all along you really thought I never cared
You were the cause of my growth and the creator of my crossroads
Even when I was drunk as fuck and at a loss for words
You sang like an angel when I was a prison of my own purgatory
I'd tell you how much you meant to me but you already heard the story

Really, this poem needs a title. Post your ideas and I will make a choice by the end of the week. Peace.

BeHemoth · Post by **BeHemoth** » Thu May 12, 2005 11:35 am

good stuff, next time I wanna see blood tho, so much blood the head shaman from the temple of doom would shiver. I mean death, violent death, continuin to stab the body after breathin stops type violent. scratch rigor mortis caligraphy in limerick form.

RacquetballGangsta · Post by **RacquetballGangsta** » Thu May 12, 2005 1:48 pm

i am jesus in pill form
swallow me and i will save u
i promise
let's commit ourselves to a covenant

What if jesus was stillborn?
Who would save u then?
Who would convince u water was wine
inebriate u with flattering tales
and teach u to be meek?

The music is more important than the sermon,
Said the pastor to the puppet.

BeHemoth · Post by **BeHemoth** » Thu May 12, 2005 2:20 pm

[quote="theaggravatedjew"]I

BeHemoth · Post by **BeHemoth** » Thu May 12, 2005 2:22 pm

whoever invented god was a genius

foiegras · Post by **foiegras** » Thu May 12, 2005 6:05 pm

that shit was ill. real to the point, no lollygagging whtsoever, and you spoke to him in a real good tone. not condescending, more of a constructive criticism tip

BeHemoth · Post by **BeHemoth** » Thu May 12, 2005 6:44 pm

this is me responding

Jennie C · Post by **Jennie C** » Thu May 12, 2005 8:29 pm

Kid B wrote:Writers never die and sometimes they fly right over your head
And drop shit that'll prompt you to discover a watershed

That's my favorite part. It's great, I love it.

Myjah · Post by **Myjah** » Fri May 13, 2005 3:24 am

Nowell's Soul wrote:
Myjah wrote: Yo, if your vocab is big enough for all those words it could make sense.

Myjah wrote: Sucks no one here is appreciative...

Myjah wrote: habe been too spoild with having the my NYU class critrique shit instead of you idiots...

Myjah wrote: Well atleast this message board isn't 100% populated by morons.
You serious?

Yes.

No one here gives any sort of real constructive review. They just say "this is shit" and move on. They don't even know how to actually say anything intelligent about the poem--whether what they say is good or bad. Sorry, but most of you are morons.

Myjah · Post by **Myjah** » Fri May 13, 2005 3:28 am

Nowell's Soul wrote:
Myjah wrote: Yo, if your vocab is big enough for all those words it could make sense.

Myjah wrote: Sucks no one here is appreciative...

Myjah wrote: habe been too spoild with having the my NYU class critrique shit instead of you idiots...

Myjah wrote: Well atleast this message board isn't 100% populated by morons.
You serious?

Yes.
The majority of people here don't give any sort of real constructive review. They just say "this is shit" and move on. They don't even know how to actually say anything intelligent about the poem--whether what they say is good or bad. Sorry, but most of you are morons.

Reason is Yellow was really the only one who said anything very thoughtful.

Myjah · Post by **Myjah** » Fri May 13, 2005 3:29 am

All of the rhymes are extreamly predictable line ending ones. It doesn't really follow a meter and sounds odd in parts.

Kid B · Post by **Kid B** » Fri May 13, 2005 12:28 pm

Thanks y'all. I don't anything about meter, but maybe that's cadence you speak of My, what parts are predictable to you? This isn't the finished draft so I'm open to change shit if needed.

BeHemoth · Post by **BeHemoth** » Fri May 13, 2005 12:42 pm

word myjah, I need to rethink my life priorities and get a job at the mill and quit prancing around with my forced faux intellect. this sucks, I'm about to turn 25 and just found out I'm retarded and unable read, much less comprehend poetry. you're a life saver myjah, I don't know how I can thank you enough for this life altering observation. at least I can still talk about sports, intelligence is not a prerequisite for that, just ask Doug Collins.

theaggravatedjew · Post by **theaggravatedjew** » Fri May 13, 2005 4:40 pm

[quote="BeHemoth"][quote="theaggravatedjew"]I

Kid B · Post by **Kid B** » Fri May 13, 2005 6:27 pm

Myjah wrote:
Nowell's Soul wrote:
Myjah wrote: Yo, if your vocab is big enough for all those words it could make sense.

Myjah wrote: Sucks no one here is appreciative...

Myjah wrote: habe been too spoild with having the my NYU class critrique shit instead of you idiots...

Myjah wrote: Well atleast this message board isn't 100% populated by morons.
You serious?
Yes.
The majority of people here don't give any sort of real constructive review. They just say "this is shit" and move on. They don't even know how to actually say anything intelligent about the poem--whether what they say is good or bad. Sorry, but most of you are morons.

Reason is Yellow was really the only one who said anything very thoughtful.

Ehh. Don't be so quick to pass judgment on the critics My. If you browse again you might see some constructive critiques. BTW I peeped your website and found a couple of nice short pieces you wrote. Reminds me of my old style when I wrote quick and to the point haikustyle.

MLink · Post by **MLink** » Sat May 14, 2005 2:27 am

PHRO1 wrote:
Kid B wrote:Ample parking any time so go own down
To Red Bank and meet some friends of mine
There's Kathy she's an artist and Chad can rhyme
Dan is a comedian, and Rebecca listens to grime
I NEVER HAD TIME 2 LISTEN TO GRIME,
BUT I DO STAY GRIMEY AN COME WITH GREAT TIMING
MOST MUTHA FUCKERS NOW A DAYS IS NICKEL AN DIMING
I WAS BLESSED FROM THE BIRTH WITH ABILITY IN RHYMING/

Still Emcee's Are Crying, we take it Back to the Basics//
Okay kids? Show the whole Game Quick what Game is..//
I'm Spittin that Flame if I Spit It an Quicken the Pace it's..//
Like a virus a rogue machine Slipped in the Matrix//

Kid B · Post by **Kid B** » Sat May 14, 2005 4:28 am

I have no patience in this hip hop matrix
But I took the red pill so I can be the one to save it
But if I don't make it covered in slime buck naked
I'll leave the legacy for the next MC to try to take it

HopeLess · Post by **HopeLess** » Sat May 14, 2005 3:37 pm

I'll be down for the Cypher, but I won't betray it
defend the one true thing, fake emcees don't say shit
I'll be around, when you need me like the Spinners
Kid's is hungry for some real shit, game is fadin' like The Thinner

Kid B · Post by **Kid B** » Sat May 14, 2005 9:29 pm

Guess who's coming to dinner?
The ghost of Yul Brenner haggard from the winter
And he's rappin karaoke with Clu and LaLa
Some big band swing version of Big Poppa

Peeping Tom · Post by **Peeping Tom** » Sun May 15, 2005 12:14 am

Kid B wrote:Guess who's coming to dinner?
The ghost of Yul Brenner haggard from the winter
And he's rappin karaoke with Clu and LaLa
Some big band swing version of Big Poppa

Big Poppa spit docta get bread that thick matza
never see me on the streets with dough
strong arm gorilla pimp when i beat a ho
purpose is purple lips i mistreat a ho

Myjah · Post by **Myjah** » Sun May 15, 2005 2:43 am

BeHemoth wrote:word myjah, I need to rethink my life priorities and get a job at the mill and quit prancing around with my forced faux intellect. this sucks, I'm about to turn 25 and just found out I'm retarded and unable read, much less comprehend poetry. you're a life saver myjah, I don't know how I can thank you enough for this life altering observation. at least I can still talk about sports, intelligence is not a prerequisite for that, just ask Doug Collins.

I am not saying it's the best poem ever, or even good, I will admit that most deffinetly. I wrote it in about 10 minutes. But considering most of these so called "critiques" were pretty much just insults or meaningless (like "can tell you haven't done tis in awhile", pompous bastard I write poetry all the time, I just don't post it here because my life does not revolve around Philaflava like it does for so many of you; or Peeping Tom's misinterpretation and mocking of my poem; or all the stupid one line comments that really say nothing) I think I have every right to say you people suck at reading/critiquing poetry. Reason is Yellow pointed out things he ddn't like about the poem, but he didn't have to be insulting. Maybe all you people can critique are rap songs/flows, but I certainly hope that you guys don't always give such worthless responses to those too.

Bah, serves me right for posting anything at this message board.

Myjah · Post by **Myjah** » Sun May 15, 2005 2:51 am

Kid B wrote:Thanks y'all. I don't anything about meter, but maybe that's cadence you speak of My, what parts are predictable to you? This isn't the finished draft so I'm open to change shit if needed.

Meter is something like the rhythm of a poem, or a consistant rhythm of iambs. In a poem like this, where all the rhymes are line-ending ones, it can sound sort of odd when all the lines are of different lengths and syllables and iambs. It is harder to detect when reading to yourself, much easier to detect when reading outloud. Anyway, it's not like a requirement but I thin the poem could be well strengthened with a more consistent meter.

HopeLess · Post by **HopeLess** » Sun May 15, 2005 3:07 am

Just got aroudn to checking this, it was really dope to me, and I think spoken aloud, in a slam type of situation it would rock right.

Myjah · Post by **Myjah** » Sun May 15, 2005 3:08 am

I read it a couple times... thought provoking. The first stanza makes me think of anti-depressants, and the second seems to be comparing them to religion (christianity). The third stanza I haven't figured out. I'm als not quite sure why you chose to use the letter u instead of the word you.

HopeLess · Post by **HopeLess** » Sun May 15, 2005 3:11 am

To be honest, I read it twice and it rolled off the tounge easy to me, and the way you wrote it was just fun to read. I wasn't trying to come off like a jerk who had nothing to say, just for the record.

Mercuthio · Post by **Mercuthio** » Sun May 15, 2005 6:48 am

Nope, I don't do dope
I try to cope with life
by tying my sights to a simple hope that I might
some day or some night
come to stay at peace with the first morning light
Some call it a hopeless fight
Depending on dumb luck with the roll of a dice
Staying stuck no more than a few meters from shore
Afraid to seek comfort with the lovers of war or the whores of vice
so I'll keep slicing till I reach the core
through a shell of numbness in life

CTR LEGACY THREAD

16 for an upcoming shit talking track

This Poem Needs A Title

i am jesus in pill form

Re: 16 for an upcoming shit talking track

Re: Angst Is Also A Five-Letter Word Meaning Haste

Re: Angst Is Also A Five-Letter Word Meaning Haste

Re: 16 for an upcoming shit talking track

Re: i am jesus in pill form