After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

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battlecatmeowstab212
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Re: After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

Post by battlecatmeowstab212 »

Mindbender Futurama wrote:
battlecatmeowstab212 wrote:Mindbender, I'm not saying this as a joke but as a serious suggestion...

Please write a dis track aimed at 'After Earth.' People want to hate on this movie, you have a passion and gift for slandering it, now is the time to let those powers combine.
:rofl:

it would end up sounding like a dis track to Will Smith.

a piece of art has rarely made me feel so fucking furious and raped of my precious time.

this song might happen. fuck, this GENRE might happen :lol: x :bunk:

MC Ebert :copy:


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Re: After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

Post by Mindbender Futurama »

^^^ thanks mang. might have to alter-ego it up. don't wanna get too known for hate. world got enough of that, LULZ

also this happened, ha
Will Smith Disappointed In 'After Earth' Box Office: It's Been Two Decades Since I Wasn't Number One
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/0 ... k%20Voices

:omar: ... :bunk: :fail: :clay: :shittylikesometp: :arrow:
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Jayou Ayen
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Re: After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

Post by Jayou Ayen »

I wish I hadn't read the Bend & Cash (SBU) reviews before watching the movie. I was looking for ever fault mentioned, instead of just enjoying it. The flick was okay, nowhere near as bad as you two made it out to be. And nothing is touching Battlefield Earth, that shit is still in a class of its own.
Considering the poor hit to miss ratio of the Sci-fi genre, this movie was pretty average all around. I'm not sure why the studio thought it could be a summer blockbuster.



39
Take it up with Gloss, you White Piece of Shit.

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Re: After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

Post by Mindbender Futurama »

no.
what makes it so horrible, is that it's SO STUNNINGLY FUCKING average, predictable and cliche.
and from it being so average, you say "cinematic creators of the motherfucking caliber of WILL SMITH and M. NIGHT SHAME-ALYAN made THIS festering pile of Sarlacc piss?! Boo-urns. Boo-fucking-Urns, I say to thee!" If this was helmed by any two other living or dead people taking up space upon God's green earth, it would just be simply forgettable after being found to taste mildly detestable. But THIS being called a ~Will Smith~ summer movie is a declaration of holy war upon my delicate senses, and I vehemently express outrage at anyone proclaiming the person who directed THIS hot garbidge is a visionary with any admirable traits to be found within in his entire artistic existence. I mean it with all my heart and soul when I say ANYONE could have come up with a better movie than this. Me, you, some grade 6 science whiz, my cat Smeegel, Amanda Bynes, the list goes on. We ALL could have made a better sci-fi movie about a "post-apocalyptic earth where only two survivors must make it to their only means of escape before one of them dies". You read that synopsis and are like "yeah, that sounds like it could be dope!"... and then you walk into the theater AND GET YOUR IMAGINATION GANG-RAPED

tell me if there was ONE moment of genuine surprise or even a single unexpected statement, much less unique visual aspect.

the rocketships were cocks of shit. the alien was super fuckin lameass. earth was not so vicious, that fuckin huge bird helped Jaden survive when supposedly "everything on earth has evolved to KILL" :bunk:

the frost made no sense

Will Smith's character was simply a horrible person

why didn't the kid use the advanced weapons of the spear when he was nearly killed?
and yes a fucking swiss-army-spear? we're centuries in the future, and THAT'S the weapon you assign your "rangers" aka your SOLDIERS?! :fail:

don't make me think about how stupid this movie was
yes, it wasn't "BAD", as far as bad movies can really go... like, it wasn't a Michael Bay idiotstorm deluxe. But the fact that Will "Ali" Smith was in this and that it was an M. Night production makes it PEDO-BAD :bunk: :shittylikesometp: :copy: :arrow:
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AWAE
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Re: After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

Post by AWAE »

hilarious review at 14:35


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Re: After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

Post by Mindbender Futurama »

"movie reviewers went to see it, and died"

"this movie.... um... SUCKED MY BALLS"

"it's a simple survival story. VERY VERY simple."

"everything is very blatant and surface level in this movie.

SEEING JADEN GLARE AT WILL LYING ABOUT THE "PERFECT COLLISION OF ART" >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

"and Will Smith sucked. just talking in monotone does not equate to drama."

"I'M BACK TO BEING WILL SMITH FROM THE FUTURE! I'M GOING TO TALK LIKE A BRITISH MON."
:lol:

preeetty funny. not hilarious, but pretty fucking funny. and all quite accurate in its skewering
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Jayou Ayen
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Re: After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

Post by Jayou Ayen »

I can completely understand you not liking this movie, but what's with all the Smith/M. Night expectations?
Did you stop watching their films in 2000?



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Take it up with Gloss, you White Piece of Shit.

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Re: After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

Post by Mindbender Futurama »

Jayou Ayen wrote:I can completely understand you not liking this movie, but what's with all the Smith/M. Night expectations?
Did you stop watching their films in 2000?



39
Will Smith was the biggest movie star in the world where all his movies made at least $100 million, until "Seven Pounds", which wasn't horrible, but wasn't a homerun. Will still had more star power than anyone working (but it looks like Johnny Depp is about to replace him with 'Lone Ranger')

Alternately: M. Night made two good movies: "The Sixth Sense" and "Unbreakable", then got paid to puke out idiotic pseudo-suspenseful bullshit for another half decade.

This movie 'After Earth' was pre-destined by the gods to be either M. Night's best or Will Smith's worst.

WILL SMITH LOST
:bunk: :bunk: :bunk: :bunk: :bunk:
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Re: After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

Post by Mindbender Futurama »

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Re: After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

Post by tehgiftofgab »

so mindbender does or doesn't recommend this movie? im confused

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Re: After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

Post by Mindbender Futurama »

tehgiftofgab wrote:so mindbender does or doesn't recommend this movie? im confused
WITH ALL THE KINETIC ELECTRICITY I CAN GENERATE WITHIN MY HEAVENLY ESSENCE, I IMPLORE YOU:

DO NOT GO ANYWHERE THAT 'AFTER EARTH' IS PLAYING, NOWHERE IN A 100 MILE RADIUS

IF IT ~IS~ PLAYING AND YOU CANNOT ESCAPE ITS TRAJECTORY, STAB YOUR EYES OUT WITH YOUR THUMBS

i recommend you watch yourself get sodomized by a ridiculously oversized improper phallic instrument instead
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