After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

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Truth.
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After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

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Re: After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

Post by The Rapping Coffin »

Seen it. It sucks.

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Re: After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

Post by Tommy Bunz »

How is this :brown: faggot even making movies still let alone getting Will Smith to star?

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Re: After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

Post by The Rapping Coffin »

Will Smith handpicked him to be the director, and this is the movie he turned down Django to make. They are marketing it to make it seem like a Will Smith vehicle but he's just barely even a supporting actor in the movie. It's the Jaden show and he's horrible...he makes a trying to squeeze out a poop face when he tries to emote.

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Re: After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

Post by The Afronaut »

The Rapping Coffin wrote:Will Smith handpicked him to be the director, and this is the movie he turned down Django to make.
Totally forgot he was offered that role.

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Re: After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

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The Rapping Coffin wrote:Seen it. It sucks.
spoilers?

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Re: After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

Post by Cash Rulz »

Overbrook behind this.

Something Will can get his flunkies to go "great movie sah" while he has wild gay orgies.

I'm waiting for Jaden to get in a car/plane accident. I hate that kid.

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Re: After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

Post by LilLeftBrain »

gonna be the first shamalama that gets missed, primarily cause of young faggot ass smith. morbid curiosity pulled me in for the last six or so, feels good to not be inquisitive in the least bout this one
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Re: After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

Post by Truth. »

Tommy Bunz wrote:How is this :brown: faggot even making movies still let alone getting Will Smith to star?
Last Airbender made a profit of 169 million worldwide, not great but i guess enough for studios to give him more money

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Re: After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

Post by LilLeftBrain »

oh, forgot about airbender. already missed a dingdong then
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Re: After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

Post by The Afronaut »

Truth. wrote:Last Airbender
That franchise needs a reboot stat.

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Re: After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

Post by TheBigSleep »

The Rapping Coffin wrote:Will Smith handpicked him to be the director and this is the movie he turned down Django to make.
He's good at that. Also turned down the chance to be Neo in The Matrix in order to do Wild Wild West.

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Re: After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

Post by SYM »

TheBigSleep wrote:
The Rapping Coffin wrote:Will Smith handpicked him to be the director and this is the movie he turned down Django to make.
He's good at that. Also turned down the chance to be Neo in The Matrix in order to do Wild Wild West.
He read the script and was prolly like, "how can I write a rap song to this?"

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Re: After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

Post by Spartan »

Pass.

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Re: After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

Post by The Afronaut »

SYM wrote:
TheBigSleep wrote:
The Rapping Coffin wrote:Will Smith handpicked him to be the director and this is the movie he turned down Django to make.
He's good at that. Also turned down the chance to be Neo in The Matrix in order to do Wild Wild West.
He read the script and was prolly like, "how can I write a rap song to this?"
:lol:

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Re: After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

Post by battlecatmeowstab212 »

The Afronaut wrote:
SYM wrote:
TheBigSleep wrote:
The Rapping Coffin wrote:Will Smith handpicked him to be the director and this is the movie he turned down Django to make.
He's good at that. Also turned down the chance to be Neo in The Matrix in order to do Wild Wild West.
He read the script and was prolly like, "how can I write a rap song to this?"
:lol:
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Re: After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

Post by The Rapping Coffin »

SYM wrote:
The Rapping Coffin wrote:Seen it. It sucks.
spoilers?
The earth evolved to be inhabitable to humans as a reaction to human race's virus like contamination of the planet. Humans left earth and colonized another planet, but it already had a native species and they are at war with the humans. Will Smith became a legend warrior when he figured out that native species of the planet can only sense humans when they are scared, and humans become basically invisible if they have a zen state of mind. Jaden wants to be a warrior like his dad, but Will doesn't want him to fight because his daughter (Jaden's sister) was killed by the natives. Soooo after some boring shit a crew leaves to find another planet to colonize (It's Jaden, Will, a crew of others, and one of the natives for a reason i can't remember), but the ship ends up crashing on a planet that turns out to be EARTH. The crew dies in the crash, Will injures himself, and the native escapes. Now Jaden must trek across the inhabitable earth to locate a beacon signal to get them off of earth and confront his fears and learn to be a man and other gay shit.

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Re: After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

Post by drizzle »

jesus that sounds so bad
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Re: After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

Post by alpha »

drizzle wrote:jesus that sounds so bad
And he turned down django for it LOL

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Re: After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

Post by Mindbender Futurama »

just saw this :blank:

it's exactly what you think it is, nothing more.

i've never felt so MEH in nearly all my life at a movie.

SO much wasted potential, so much wasted time.

Jaden "carries" the movie, Will "guides" it.

they both have annoying fucking future-Brit faux accents that make you cringe

there's nothing you haven't seen before, really. no real :ohsh: sci-fi ideas beyond all other flicks

so underwhelmed by this. but thankful for the friends who hooked me up to go.

M. Night needs to take a serious :winter:

don't pay money for this, please
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Re: After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

Post by Panama »

Mindbender Futurama wrote:
i've never felt so MEH in nearly all my life at a movie.
Have you seen oblivion? Because that's exactly how I felt after watching it.

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Re: After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

Post by Ramen »

:rofl: @ you guys watching this or oblivion, fuckyallthinking?

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Re: After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

Post by peanut butter »

The patterns tho



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Re: After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

Post by Employee II »

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/b ... see-560758
In a box office upset, Now You See Me beat Will Smith's sci-fi adventure After Earth as the two films rolled out in theaters Thursday night.

Nor are Friday matinee numbers bringing much relief for After Earth, which may struggle to open much past $25 million unless ticket sales pick up in earnest, versus the $35 million-plus the father-son adventure was expected to bring in. The film's performance is a rare blemish for Smith, considered one of the world's biggest stars.
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Re: After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

Post by T Rav »

Is the spoiler that the fresh prince and his son are ghosts? Please let it be that!
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Re: After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

Post by Combo7 »

Funny how Shyamalan's name is kept out of all marketing for this thing. Had no idea he was involved until this thread got resurrected.

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Re: After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

Post by Ramen »

T Rav wrote:Is the spoiler that the fresh prince and his son are ghosts? Please let it be that!
The twist is that Jazzy Jeff is actually the real father.

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Re: After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

Post by stupidregister »

1. Nepotism.
2. Scientology.
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Re: After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

Post by Mindbender Futurama »

^^^ yes it was definitely nepotism, but as amazingly displayed with 'Pursuit of Happyness', there is potential for great father/son moviemaking. IT DID NOT HAPPEN AGAIN.
and yes, Scientology is vaguely wafting around this stinking carcass of a film's "dialogue", but not enough to make you scream "Fuck you, Travolta"
Panama wrote:
Mindbender Futurama wrote:
i've never felt so MEH in nearly all my life at a movie.
Have you seen oblivion? Because that's exactly how I felt after watching it.
Check it:

I walked into 'Oblivion' when 'After Earth' was done, because I just felt like it. I saw the last 15 minutes.

The ONE line of dialogue I heard, when Tom Cruise said: "If we have souls, they are made of the love we give to each other" was more creative and insighful than EVERY SINGLE ASPECT, DIMENSION AND MINUTE OF WILL SMITH'S SUPERFLOP.

The entire movie is devoid of fresh thinking or joy. There has never been a more predictable movie experience in my life. You can literally project exactly what is going to happen at each obvious interval. Jaden is shackled in this with his worst acting role ever alongside Will Smith's VERY worst movie role. Jaden was surprisingly dope in 'Karate Kid'. And even in 'Wild Wild West', at least Will Smith was wyling out in a humongous mechanical spider with cannons on it and shit. 'After Earth' is the worst fucking wannabe-blockbuster movie of the year, hands down. Line up the Razzies.

My jaw was on the ground like "who paid for this idiotic mess?" for virtually the entire duration.
And that marketing campaign slogan "fear is a choice/danger is real" is manifested in the most cliche and formulaic conception you can fathom, and is barely expanded upon with any wise insight worth taking away from the movie. It is delivered in such a corny and militarily heartless fashion that you just want to laugh instead of listen.

Will Smith needs to hit a grand slam with his next movie. This shit is unacceptable in every way.
You want to know M. Night secret this time?
The twist in this movie is...


it's actually not a fucking movie at all.

:bunk:
Last edited by Mindbender Futurama on Sun Jun 02, 2013 3:09 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: After Earth (Directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

Post by battlecatmeowstab212 »

I'm just going to throw out there that Mindbender saw 'X-Men Origins: Wolverine' three times in theaters, so for him to hate 'After Earth' in such a way says quite a great deal about how terrible it is.
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