The Paper

PopeyeJones · Post by **PopeyeJones** » Fri May 02, 2008 9:54 pm

Fucking dope show.

As far as reality shows go, Top Chef has been boring as fuck save for Andrew, and after Parking Wars ended its run there hasn't been shit. The paper fucking rules. Call me a fag and I'll tell you why!

LameAim · Post by **LameAim** » Fri May 02, 2008 10:49 pm

Ok, I'll bite. Why is this show dope?

PopeyeJones · Post by **PopeyeJones** » Fri May 02, 2008 11:27 pm

LameAim wrote:Ok, I'll bite. Why is this show dope?

Huge Mistake.

This show is dope because:

1: Much of reality programming can be summed up in 5 genres:

a) the idle rich being the idle rich, and not doing anything else (all the chick shows like Kardashian, Laguna Beach, Housewives, etc).

b) the ignorant young and attractive being ignorant young and attractive, and not doing much else (the real world, big brother, temptation island was like this, etc.)

c) people placed on odd situations that have no relation to their daily lives (survivor, the amazing race, the biggest loser, etc.)

d) idiots who are stupid and unaccomplished and are there to be laughed at (hell's kitchen, beauty and the geek)

e) regular people of a certain profession engaging in activities and/or contests related to that profession (top chef, project runway, deadliest catch, parking wars, etc.)

Category "e" is by far the most engaging category of reality show. While these people aren't always the most attractive or the brightest, they are regular, quirky, entertaining people who posses a unique skill set that makes them good at what they do.

The Paper is full on a category "e" show. It's the first time that regular, ugly, over-enthusiastic high school kids have been on television in a long time. Having taught in suburban high schools, it's an accurate portrayal of regular suburban kids. On top of that, they're organized around something (sure, they're rich, but not idle rich). The scenes in the newsroom are what bring the show together.

2) The cast of characters is awesome.

Amanda

Just named editor in chief, EVERYBODY fucking hates her and makes sure to tell her that she's a dumb cunt to her face. She's narcissistic and delusional enough to be convinced that she's actually not a dumb cunt, and is really well liked and holding everything together. On top of that, she thinks she's barbara striesand. Peep game:

As opposed to the one-dimensional Omorossa's who populate the villain role on reality shows, you actually feel bad for Amanda, regardless of how much you hate her. She's such a tryhard she's infuriating, but it's obvious that she really wants to be liked but just can't do it. Juxtapose her with:

Giana

Giana is boring, tragically fucking boring and brings nothing to the table. In this roving band of geeks however, she's "the hot one" and gets a total pass. This is also tragically realistic, as often times in camp or school settings plain old nothing special girls who happen to be less ugly than the other girls get way too much attention. She dates,

Dan

A dumb ass goofy normal kid. He's in the cool crowd. Only in high school is this kid in the cool crowd, and somehow that shit happens. He'll be a nice enough nerd who will never get a girl as "hot" as Giana for the rest of his life. He's also friends with.

Trevor

Trevor's a normal kid right now. But he's going to be raping somebody in a frat a few years down the line. These two, who should never be hanging out with each other are also friends with

Adam

The most flamboyantly gay high school kid I've ever seen. He's not boystown gay, just very very obviously comfortably gay for high school. How the fuck are these three people friends? They're friends because it's high school, they all share a common interest in the newspaper, and they haven't grown apart yet.

Finally there is Alex, the nerdy jew.

Alex has been a nerd for hella long. He's been a nerd for so long he doesn't know when to keep his mouth shut. He's chilling with the "cool" kids now, but tells them that he used to have a crush on Amanda (they were good friends until the "cool" kids started liking him). While Amanda is going over old pictures of her and Alex hanging out together with her other nerd ass friend, he's off the with cool kids, macking on some little chick whose name is also Alex. He's still a fucking nerd though, even though he's in with the cool nerds, so he let's her know he wants to hookup by waiting for her to go grab her phone and then texting her "will you be my girlfriend <3" Shit is fucking

In summary, The Paper is a reality show about regular fucking people who are trying to do something. It accurately depicts the vast majority of most suburban high schools better than anything I've seen. Season 4 of the Wire really nailed underfunded schools and what happens in and to them. This does the same thing for the exact opposite setting.

Arrow away. I'm watching the fuck out of this shit.

Tweak Da Leak · Post by **Tweak Da Leak** » Sat May 03, 2008 12:02 am

is the alex chick hot?

None · Post by **None** » Sat May 03, 2008 12:08 am

Popeye, you hit too close to home with your description of the show, but now I am compelled to watch.

jamrage · Post by **jamrage** » Sat May 03, 2008 2:19 am

@ Popeye.

Never even heard of this show.

Great screen caps by the way.

PopeyeJones · Post by **PopeyeJones** » Sat May 03, 2008 3:32 am

None wrote:Popeye, you hit too close to home with your description of the show, but now I am compelled to watch.

DO THAT SHIT!

Tweak Da Leak wrote:is the alex chick hot?

She's greasy and kinda downsy maybe, but he <3's her, and they're both named Alex (I think she's spells it "alix"). Exhibit A:
(it's also worth noting that this show was filmed in late 2007, yet Alex is wearing a puka shell necklace)

They're smiling and enjoying themselves because they're listening to their favorite song at.....a Dave Mathews concert (bwahahaha....<3)

So far the only fly broad has been the nurse who gave Alex and Dan rectal exams together. After she's done Alex says "thank you." (backstory: ep 3 is about them spending a day on the football team b/c they want to write a story about what it's like to play football). She is looking better than this pic, but I'd much rather willy stick her than buttereverything Giana

I also found a picture of preternaturally gay adam doing an inverted roper. peep:

V.

jamrage wrote: Great screen caps by the way.

I stole them all from some gossip blog my girlfriend goes to (YES, despite my fagcentric investment in The Paper, some chick is actually delusional enough to think she's in love with me. It's awesome). I think the blog is Jezebel, and the blogger calls herself Slut Machine and writes about her stds all the time. I'm intrigued but haven't looked.

In other The Paper news, I've just discovered that you can stream the first three episodes on MTVs website:

http://www.mtv.com/ontv/dyn/the_paper/v ... odes.jhtml

I'll be over there watching "web exclusives" if anybody's got a question.

gordon geico · Post by **gordon geico** » Sat May 03, 2008 4:53 am

move over kanye west bear dropout to late registrar to graduate, popeye jones is pedo bear approved.

Radio Raheem · Post by **Radio Raheem** » Sat May 03, 2008 5:30 am

This nigga is seriously on one, mayne.
I watched two seconds of this show and wanted to punch Amanda.
This is everything reality television should be.
Thanks Popeye.

Giana could get it btw

PopeyeJones · Post by **PopeyeJones** » Sat May 03, 2008 7:01 am

Radio Raheem wrote: I watched two seconds of this show and wanted to punch Amanda.

Yes. EXACTLY.

Gordon, if wanting to beat an adolescent into an inch of their life and then finding a place of empathy for the dumb cunt in between moments of wildly entertaining blind rage is pedobear approved, then yes, I'm like Rob Lowe listening to an Akon record with Karl Malone's cowboy hat on. I'm that dude. I'm the Jerry Lee Lewis of this kid shit.

Gregg Popabitch1 · Post by **Gregg Popabitch1** » Sat May 03, 2008 11:59 am

lmao saw episode this morning and was like "OMFG WANT TO CHOKE OUT AMANDA"

None · Post by **None** » Sat May 03, 2008 12:21 pm

I got the fever, and I want to torture Amanda slowly partially because she is an annoying cunt and partially because reminded me of the EIC I had.

None · Post by **None** » Sat May 03, 2008 12:26 pm

Gregg Popabitch wrote:lmao saw episode this morning and was like "OMFG WANT TO CHOKE OUT AMANDA"

That may have to do with her being a jew though.

LameAim · Post by **LameAim** » Sat May 03, 2008 2:14 pm

None wrote:Popeye, you hit too close to home with your description of the show, but now I am compelled to watch.

Word to this. I used to write for my high school paper but did it purely because it was either that or ROTC (which wasn't really a choice, now that I think about it). I remember having a good time with it... but that doesn't really mean I want to relive that shit.

However, the conviction displayed in your summary shows promise, and lord knows I've tracked worse shows. Will give this a shot if work eases up today.

PopeyeJones wrote: (I think she's spells it "alix").

Ugh.

Brougham33 · Post by **Brougham33** » Sat May 03, 2008 2:25 pm

Entertaining show show for all the reasons Popeye mentioned.

Thought this thread was going to be about how underappreciated this movie was.

PopeyeJones · Post by **PopeyeJones** » Sat May 03, 2008 2:33 pm

Brougham33 wrote: Thought this thread was going to be about how underappreciated this movie was.

This is also true.

None, If I don't understand anything I'm going to use this thread to ask you questions.

LameAim · Post by **LameAim** » Sat May 03, 2008 4:21 pm

PopeyeJones wrote:
Radio Raheem wrote: I watched two seconds of this show and wanted to grudge fist Amanda.

Keeping it classy for my 1800th post, apparently.

hiphop groupie · Post by **hiphop groupie** » Tue May 06, 2008 6:56 pm

PopeyeJones wrote: It's the first time that regular, ugly, over-enthusiastic high school kids have been on television in a long time.

I caught this for the first time last week and it's fucking hilarious. The character descriptions were dead on, especially Adam. He ditched the paper's deadline last night and went to watch High School Musical on Ice:

dancing backstage:

and one of Amanda just because

None · Post by **None** » Tue May 06, 2008 7:04 pm

That jewess has seeped into my mind and now I want to tie her up and burn her with a crack pipe.

PopeyeJones · Post by **PopeyeJones** » Tue May 06, 2008 10:46 pm

None wrote:That jewess has seeped into my mind and now I want to tie her up and burn her with a crack pipe.

Official earth contact from said jewess!!!!

http://fourfour.typepad.com/fourfour/20 ... -i-am.html

None · Post by **None** » Wed May 07, 2008 1:35 am

PopeyeJones wrote:
None wrote:That jewess has seeped into my mind and now I want to tie her up and burn her with a crack pipe.

Official earth contact from said jewess!!!!

http://fourfour.typepad.com/fourfour/20 ... -i-am.html

Tell her that I want to tape my nutsack to my thigh and make passionate love to her eye socket.

ric · Post by **ric** » Wed May 07, 2008 2:26 am

maybe ill peep this this week. my girlfriend comes over tomorrow and shell be watching tv. ill tell her to look out for this show.

its funny because my girlfriend might realllllly like this being an overachieving highschool valedictorian turned double major suma cum laude jew girl who is kind of a nerd herself and loves to make fun of people who are bigger nerds and thus watches multitudes of reality tv.

to me it just sounds boring as hell though. thanks for the look popeye

None · Post by **None** » Tue May 27, 2008 2:18 am

The finale aired and now my life is empty (well not empty, but now my contempt will have to be redirected).

PopeyeJones · Post by **PopeyeJones** » Tue May 27, 2008 5:02 am

None wrote:The finale aired and now my life is empty (well not empty, but now my contempt will have to be redirected).

horrendous bullshit that this was an 8 episode season. They went from homecoming to the end of the year in a week. Lorber is just enough of a delusional dumb cunt to be perfect at NYU, though. amazing fit.

None · Post by **None** » Tue May 27, 2008 10:54 am

PopeyeJones wrote:
None wrote:The finale aired and now my life is empty (well not empty, but now my contempt will have to be redirected).
horrendous bullshit that this was an 8 episode season. They went from homecoming to the end of the year in a week. Lorber is just enough of a delusional dumb cunt to be perfect at NYU, though. amazing fit.

She'll fit in fucking perfectly, hopefully she gets mugged and raped in New York.

FAZER · Post by **FAZER** » Tue May 27, 2008 12:07 pm

For some reason the "cool kids" annoy me just as much if not more than Amanda. All they do is talk shit and complain. I could see myself as an underclassmen in the paper and thinking to myself what a bunch of idiots the editors are. Also I think the teacher takes too much of a backseat, the kids from The Wire would eat her alive.

I wonder if the paper is a good representation of the highschool overall, or if they are in their own world.

By the way, Giana dates Trevor not Dan.

PopeyeJones · Post by **PopeyeJones** » Tue May 27, 2008 1:29 pm

FAZER wrote:For some reason the "cool kids" annoy me just as much if not more than Amanda. All they do is talk shit and complain. I could see myself as an underclassmen in the paper and thinking to myself what a bunch of idiots the editors are. Also I think the teacher takes too much of a backseat, the kids from The Wire would eat her alive.

I wonder if the paper is a good representation of the highschool overall, or if they are in their own world.

By the way, Giana dates Trevor not Dan.

Yeah, I fucked up the names in that first post, and thought buttereverything Gianna was dating Dan for the first few weeks because she was always laying on him. Shit was garbage that he got dogged by that Sam chick on camera in the final episode. I thought he was obnoxious at first, but he kinda grew on me (:arrow:).

And hell yeah, the "cool kids" are horrible dbag pieces of shit, Gianna and Trevor mostly, and Alex by the end. The way I remember high school, I think these kids are the bitter nerds, the king of the dipshits kids.

As for Ms. Weiss, agreed, but that's also par for the course for how white teachers act around white students in rich schools.

at Trevor's Star of David necklace too. I'm always shocked at how Jewish parents end up raising Jewish kids like that. Amanda, Dan, and Alex are like archetypal Jewish kids, every Jewish kid who knew other Jewish kids knew somebody exactly like one of those three. Trevor is just a milquetoast waspy rapist though. Fucking pathetic.

PopeyeJones · Post by **PopeyeJones** » Fri Jun 06, 2008 2:38 pm

Interview with lorber

http://justjared.buzznet.com/2008/06/06 ... interview/

Awesome bitchy hooride email for lorber to some chick @ columbia

http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2008/06/yo ... _town.html

None · Post by **None** » Fri Jun 06, 2008 3:08 pm

PopeyeJones wrote:Awesome bitchy hooride email for lorber to some chick @ columbia

http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2008/06/yo ... _town.html

DAMN!