I can definitely relate to this piece.
The rhyme scheme at times made it long-winded when I was reading it aloud, but overall I really liked this.
CTR LEGACY THREAD
Moderators: TheBigSleep, stype_ones, Philaflava
Why don't you use a theme and work in a lot of different topics on it?
Like: Death vs Rebirth
Changing of the weather
Pets dying
Birds hatching
Water and the ocean
Horizon at sunset
Horizon at sunup
Yes, this is probably wack. But IMO, any poem that you MUST have a length requirement on will inevitably be.
Or you could just pick the history of hiphop.
Like: Death vs Rebirth
Changing of the weather
Pets dying
Birds hatching
Water and the ocean
Horizon at sunset
Horizon at sunup
Yes, this is probably wack. But IMO, any poem that you MUST have a length requirement on will inevitably be.
Or you could just pick the history of hiphop.
hopps wrote:i also think mindbender wastes way too much time on this message board. i think he should never come here again. seriously, man.
WOW
That's great, that's really great. I like the structure and the straight forward, simplistic language you use. It comes across more genuine that way.
Guys actually think these things about girls????
That's great, that's really great. I like the structure and the straight forward, simplistic language you use. It comes across more genuine that way.
Guys actually think these things about girls????
hopps wrote:i also think mindbender wastes way too much time on this message board. i think he should never come here again. seriously, man.
-
ClockWhy?s
- Posts: 53
- Joined: Mon May 03, 2004 3:28 pm
Or course.Jen wrote:WOW
That's great, that's really great. I like the structure and the straight forward, simplistic language you use. It comes across more genuine that way.
Guys actually think these things about girls????
I mean, I don't, errr...anyways...
Yeah Nowell, you still doing it, just as solid as ever. Definately feeling, reminds me of what I'd liek to write like if I was in a better mood.
Props doggie.
Do this.
Go to any broken-down, target rich environment in your area.
Possible locations:
Rollerskating rink
Shady-ass park on the weekend
Semi-popular strip mall or really popular regular mall
State fair
Bring a notepad or laptop with fully charged battery if you have one. You may want to stick to the notepad if your environment is particularly questionable.
Look around. Start writing about what you see. People, things, animals, the smell, whatever. Allow yourself to branch out into other unrelated topics. Like if one crackwhore really reminds you of a friend from high school, write about it, things you did, how you lost touch if you did, etc. Relate this all to the poem somehow.
If you're producing a lot, try to write at least 25% more than what you need. Edit later.
I do this a lot - not always with physical writing, but just thinking internally as how to describe whatever location/enviornment I'm at differently than a standard list of shit. If you park yourself in a location with a pad and pen and just start writing about what you see, you'd be amazed at how much product you'll churn out.
Go to any broken-down, target rich environment in your area.
Possible locations:
Rollerskating rink
Shady-ass park on the weekend
Semi-popular strip mall or really popular regular mall
State fair
Bring a notepad or laptop with fully charged battery if you have one. You may want to stick to the notepad if your environment is particularly questionable.
Look around. Start writing about what you see. People, things, animals, the smell, whatever. Allow yourself to branch out into other unrelated topics. Like if one crackwhore really reminds you of a friend from high school, write about it, things you did, how you lost touch if you did, etc. Relate this all to the poem somehow.
If you're producing a lot, try to write at least 25% more than what you need. Edit later.
I do this a lot - not always with physical writing, but just thinking internally as how to describe whatever location/enviornment I'm at differently than a standard list of shit. If you park yourself in a location with a pad and pen and just start writing about what you see, you'd be amazed at how much product you'll churn out.
Porter
Oh Porter
Oh Porter,
Such fine service you sell.
I'll tip you a quarter
for work done so well.
"But what of this pail
delivered to you?
So full of dark ale,
I'd like some too!
Weakened by labour
my burden will stay.
A strong drink to savour
sustains me all day.
That smooth easy finish
refreshes me so.
Watch my mug deminish,
back to work I go!"
Applaud & propel
make your stress shorter.
Goodbye & farewell,
Oh Porter
Oh Porter
Inspired by a glass of Black Butte Porter, Brewed by Deschutes Brewery in Bend, Oregon. The porter is a strong, nourishing brew. A product of the industrial revolution, this hearty brew has been giving strength to our hard working men and women for almost 150 years. Raise your next glass in honor of the people who built our country. And don't forget to tip to the porter. [/i]
Oh Porter,
Such fine service you sell.
I'll tip you a quarter
for work done so well.
"But what of this pail
delivered to you?
So full of dark ale,
I'd like some too!
Weakened by labour
my burden will stay.
A strong drink to savour
sustains me all day.
That smooth easy finish
refreshes me so.
Watch my mug deminish,
back to work I go!"
Applaud & propel
make your stress shorter.
Goodbye & farewell,
Oh Porter
Oh Porter
Inspired by a glass of Black Butte Porter, Brewed by Deschutes Brewery in Bend, Oregon. The porter is a strong, nourishing brew. A product of the industrial revolution, this hearty brew has been giving strength to our hard working men and women for almost 150 years. Raise your next glass in honor of the people who built our country. And don't forget to tip to the porter. [/i]
Suffer
If this is a cricket convention . . .
Then don't applaud
Just breathe and rub your legs together
You can sit in your seats
And grow out your nails
And your hair will notice
Watch the mic stand carefully
It might fall down when a poet exits the stage
You are cute with your wandering eyes
When the scores are recorded
I am not of the Ralph Lauren whitewash paint caliber
I am Gen X annex
We were raised on MTV, Nintendo, Star Wars and Reaganomics
My hands don't have a lot of work in them
Just callouses from holding paper and indentations from writing instruments
Fantasies of sexy Latina women scratching me
Water bottles full and sunlight shining through them
If I had a quarter for every time I witnessed selfishness
I would buy unnecessary luxuries for the poor
Because that's what America is all about
Me first
Me first
I help the helpless until the hopeless helpful become hapless
I'm saving up money under my mattress
It will help me be prepared for state emergencies
It's quiet now and the only thing I hear
Is the sound of the hot water rushing through the pipes
People slam doors
To vent their unhappiness
Like the simple action of door slamming could be the means to an end
Patience they tell you
They tell you, patience . . .
Have it. Because 'it' is suffering
Waiting in line at the bank to cash a paycheck. That's suffering.
Standing still to avoid a clumsy insect from stinging your skin.
That's suffering.
Like it is all we have cuz it builds character
And skyscrapers
With concrete arms reaching at the clouds
I'd like to zap myself a millennia into the future
To see what the air smells like
So, strap a jetpack on me with a freeze dried Chicken Cacciatore dinner
To eat when I circle the sky
Don't wait for me to return
I don't want you to suffer.
Then don't applaud
Just breathe and rub your legs together
You can sit in your seats
And grow out your nails
And your hair will notice
Watch the mic stand carefully
It might fall down when a poet exits the stage
You are cute with your wandering eyes
When the scores are recorded
I am not of the Ralph Lauren whitewash paint caliber
I am Gen X annex
We were raised on MTV, Nintendo, Star Wars and Reaganomics
My hands don't have a lot of work in them
Just callouses from holding paper and indentations from writing instruments
Fantasies of sexy Latina women scratching me
Water bottles full and sunlight shining through them
If I had a quarter for every time I witnessed selfishness
I would buy unnecessary luxuries for the poor
Because that's what America is all about
Me first
Me first
I help the helpless until the hopeless helpful become hapless
I'm saving up money under my mattress
It will help me be prepared for state emergencies
It's quiet now and the only thing I hear
Is the sound of the hot water rushing through the pipes
People slam doors
To vent their unhappiness
Like the simple action of door slamming could be the means to an end
Patience they tell you
They tell you, patience . . .
Have it. Because 'it' is suffering
Waiting in line at the bank to cash a paycheck. That's suffering.
Standing still to avoid a clumsy insect from stinging your skin.
That's suffering.
Like it is all we have cuz it builds character
And skyscrapers
With concrete arms reaching at the clouds
I'd like to zap myself a millennia into the future
To see what the air smells like
So, strap a jetpack on me with a freeze dried Chicken Cacciatore dinner
To eat when I circle the sky
Don't wait for me to return
I don't want you to suffer.
-
Nowell's Soul
- Posts: 1906
- Joined: Sat Apr 17, 2004 2:34 pm
- Location: Ah, college.
- Contact:
Ill.
I especially dig this part:
I especially dig this part:
The helpless/hopeless/hapless line was especially fly.Because that's what America is all about
Me first
Me first
I help the helpless until the hopeless helpful become hapless
I'm saving up money under my mattress
It will help me be prepared for state emergencies
It's quiet now and the only thing I hear
Is the sound of the hot water rushing through the pipes
People slam doors
To vent their unhappiness
Like the simple action of door slamming could be the means to an end
Patience they tell you
They tell you, patience . . .
-
Nowell's Soul
- Posts: 1906
- Joined: Sat Apr 17, 2004 2:34 pm
- Location: Ah, college.
- Contact:
-
SeaTownBlues
- Posts: 7155
- Joined: Thu Oct 16, 2003 8:26 pm
-
Scott Free
- Posts: 348
- Joined: Sun Aug 15, 2004 10:09 pm
- Location: Land of the cold air
- Contact:
-
Nowell's Soul
- Posts: 1906
- Joined: Sat Apr 17, 2004 2:34 pm
- Location: Ah, college.
- Contact:
Sheep in wolf's garb
you're a piece of shit, sheep in wolf's garb
what the fuck you good for?
fleecin the briar patch
practicin your liar craft
serving an entire batch
makin me wanna fire back
at your deceitful
disposition keepin me from bein peaceful
what you trying to be fuckin my family up?
better ask them limbs you'll be bandagin up
ain't standin so tough
think you're sittin pretty?
we'll see once I start gettin gritty
and hit the city
I'll put you back in prison
I fuckin hate you, I ain't shittin
puttin this above your son?
you're lucky I sold my gun
otherwise it'd be a hole in one
piece of shit, eat a dick
do it quick, immediate urgency
don't talk to me you don't deserve to breathe
and the words you speak
are self service, do us all a service and leave
unless you feel the need to bleed
you impose your weakness on everything you touch
callin you a half a man would be one half too much
keep hidin, keep duckin, and your shadow stay haunted
cause out in the country is a hole with your name on it
you can't smile this away, file this away
and act like you don't care
you're so fuckin weak you couldn't bench press air
cease and decist or cease to exist
reasons persist I'm bein specific
had your back handed you the keys
and you turned it all around
I know the count, you ain't down
just a snake slitherin who hates deliverin on his promises
and it's gettin pretty obvious
you impose your weakness on everything you touch
callin you a half a man would be one half too much
keep hidin, keep duckin, and your shadow stay haunted
cause out in the country is a hole with your name on it
what the fuck you good for?
fleecin the briar patch
practicin your liar craft
serving an entire batch
makin me wanna fire back
at your deceitful
disposition keepin me from bein peaceful
what you trying to be fuckin my family up?
better ask them limbs you'll be bandagin up
ain't standin so tough
think you're sittin pretty?
we'll see once I start gettin gritty
and hit the city
I'll put you back in prison
I fuckin hate you, I ain't shittin
puttin this above your son?
you're lucky I sold my gun
otherwise it'd be a hole in one
piece of shit, eat a dick
do it quick, immediate urgency
don't talk to me you don't deserve to breathe
and the words you speak
are self service, do us all a service and leave
unless you feel the need to bleed
you impose your weakness on everything you touch
callin you a half a man would be one half too much
keep hidin, keep duckin, and your shadow stay haunted
cause out in the country is a hole with your name on it
you can't smile this away, file this away
and act like you don't care
you're so fuckin weak you couldn't bench press air
cease and decist or cease to exist
reasons persist I'm bein specific
had your back handed you the keys
and you turned it all around
I know the count, you ain't down
just a snake slitherin who hates deliverin on his promises
and it's gettin pretty obvious
you impose your weakness on everything you touch
callin you a half a man would be one half too much
keep hidin, keep duckin, and your shadow stay haunted
cause out in the country is a hole with your name on it
-
ClockWhy?s
- Posts: 53
- Joined: Mon May 03, 2004 3:28 pm
38 seconds (w/lyrics)
Ok, so I was unaware I had to post the lyrics with the track.
Here's the link again: http://www.soundclick.com/clockwhys
2nd track from the top.
Lyrics:
Chorus:
You feel this and I feel this too
You're fearless and I'm fearless too (2x)
Verse:
Gimme a moment to gather my thoughts
given in to this feeling
but I'm lost
I gotta shake this awake state
the state of being late of
the time I never had
I'm tired of this way and
If there is a God, he's probably sayin' too bad [too bad]
Chorus (1x)
Midverse:
Will there ever be a change?
A change of this game
where the loser wins
and the winner walks away in shame
it's all the same
make the call
and never choose who to blame [2x]
Chorus
Last verse:
We've got 38 seconds left to take a breathe
mistake I wept
create the cleft the theft is me
these emphases are too easy to see
to believe and breathe sobriety
reality is society
so realize we
the potential liars to be
are higher than the skyscrapers
and wires that connect the
z's and disease the entire entirety
fire me
no longer a boss to myself
and these feelings that I felt
in these dealings that are help
less
less I find
more I climb into design
and Hume refutes me
so I say so to Philo
check the high's and low's
and you will follow.
Chorus
Here's the link again: http://www.soundclick.com/clockwhys
2nd track from the top.
Lyrics:
Chorus:
You feel this and I feel this too
You're fearless and I'm fearless too (2x)
Verse:
Gimme a moment to gather my thoughts
given in to this feeling
but I'm lost
I gotta shake this awake state
the state of being late of
the time I never had
I'm tired of this way and
If there is a God, he's probably sayin' too bad [too bad]
Chorus (1x)
Midverse:
Will there ever be a change?
A change of this game
where the loser wins
and the winner walks away in shame
it's all the same
make the call
and never choose who to blame [2x]
Chorus
Last verse:
We've got 38 seconds left to take a breathe
mistake I wept
create the cleft the theft is me
these emphases are too easy to see
to believe and breathe sobriety
reality is society
so realize we
the potential liars to be
are higher than the skyscrapers
and wires that connect the
z's and disease the entire entirety
fire me
no longer a boss to myself
and these feelings that I felt
in these dealings that are help
less
less I find
more I climb into design
and Hume refutes me
so I say so to Philo
check the high's and low's
and you will follow.
Chorus
Angry Irish Poets.
-
Aethetical-Hades
- Posts: 904
- Joined: Tue May 10, 2005 3:25 pm
- Location: Georgia
- Contact:
-
Aethetical-Hades
- Posts: 904
- Joined: Tue May 10, 2005 3:25 pm
- Location: Georgia
- Contact:
"Handled"....
Late-night pen-penetrant, considered h e k s' accompanied-kindred, a forwarded-instance...
Deemed just about as relevant as literal elements compellin' a temperament...(2xs)
Engineered sentiments represent Hellish forms--manifold, manifested in restiform settlements
Settled, nestled in a crest of testament recently jettisoned, benevolent since we suspect, or detect what's to be perfected like the angle of "seven" when the angels let it dangle from Heaven
Strange strangulating stranger strangely strangled, anima and stamina entangled within the many silky curves of bodied-nerves, nobody's heard of...
...except, when the rumoring word buzzed--a femalien-corpse, burned, turned-up...rankled
Another discovered, mangled, covered under a Mackinaw blanket, with missing sawed-off ankles
A crew of passersby and cops-collect in awe, mute with locked-jaw neglect, trying to cathect as they congress out of a heedless, needless recess...
Brains docked to the shores of Lake Standstill, can't figure out how this deaded prepubescent got handled 'cause synapses collapsed quick, at a depth of thought process-regret
'Membrance of the diffident-innocent cancelled presented in thickened numerics of candescent candles, on a mantle, displaying a vigil for memorial...
Due to Man's ill-manner, patterned 'cause Man can kill matter....(2xs)
Lecherous Eye of the Dandy, targeting his aim upon visual-candy...random tandem tantrums labeled randy--that's a plan schemed
Dream critical, even when my cranial gives a spin off its spindle, ethical whimsical-individual wit' pencil-utensil keepin' it suspenseful...(3xs)
Deemed just about as relevant as literal elements compellin' a temperament...(2xs)
Engineered sentiments represent Hellish forms--manifold, manifested in restiform settlements
Settled, nestled in a crest of testament recently jettisoned, benevolent since we suspect, or detect what's to be perfected like the angle of "seven" when the angels let it dangle from Heaven
Strange strangulating stranger strangely strangled, anima and stamina entangled within the many silky curves of bodied-nerves, nobody's heard of...
...except, when the rumoring word buzzed--a femalien-corpse, burned, turned-up...rankled
Another discovered, mangled, covered under a Mackinaw blanket, with missing sawed-off ankles
A crew of passersby and cops-collect in awe, mute with locked-jaw neglect, trying to cathect as they congress out of a heedless, needless recess...
Brains docked to the shores of Lake Standstill, can't figure out how this deaded prepubescent got handled 'cause synapses collapsed quick, at a depth of thought process-regret
'Membrance of the diffident-innocent cancelled presented in thickened numerics of candescent candles, on a mantle, displaying a vigil for memorial...
Due to Man's ill-manner, patterned 'cause Man can kill matter....(2xs)
Lecherous Eye of the Dandy, targeting his aim upon visual-candy...random tandem tantrums labeled randy--that's a plan schemed
Dream critical, even when my cranial gives a spin off its spindle, ethical whimsical-individual wit' pencil-utensil keepin' it suspenseful...(3xs)
-
HustleCrowe
- Posts: 7627
- Joined: Wed Jun 02, 2004 10:13 pm
- Location: Providence twitter.com/LordWllin00
NEED BEATS????
Anyways my homie Vanderslice ( who im working on an album with)who produced the majority of Access Immortals debut album Shades Of Reality.... is currently selling beats for a very very cheap price of 100 dollars per beat. You can check out www.soundclick.com/vanderslicelives , all of the beats on that page are for sale! This man has HEAT! his beats are straight fire! He's also working on a production album, as well as doing tracks for various artists. DO NOT SLEEP. this is a VERY VERY VERY good deal. Most producers of his caliber charge 1,000 a track, but hes selling beats for 100.
For more information you can contact me
lordwillin401@cox.net or on AIM at SugeWhite360
or
Vanderslice
vanderslicelives@comcast.net or on AIM at VandersliceLives
i repeat do not pass on this offer because the beats are straight fire!
For more information you can contact me
lordwillin401@cox.net or on AIM at SugeWhite360
or
Vanderslice
vanderslicelives@comcast.net or on AIM at VandersliceLives
i repeat do not pass on this offer because the beats are straight fire!
-
Hasenfefer
- Posts: 8907
- Joined: Wed Jan 28, 2004 9:49 pm
- Location: south florida
- Contact:
with a fluent line as congruent as confusciouses mindPHRO1 wrote:AYO
WHY THE REST YOU ALL BICKER
IM LIVIN STREET STYLE
PRESSED TO THE WALL LIKE A STICKER
PEOPLE FOOT FALL
LOOK TO STOP ME FROM GETTING BIGGER
NEVER PISTOL WHIP
FO REAL PULL THE TRIGGER
BULLETTS CHASE PAIN FROM THE FLAME OF TIME
STEPED IN THIS PLACE AND THREW A RHYME
?
few have the view of Can-U whose grew to a new height
so your diluuusions of grandeur dont matter like negative space
cuz like this link I stay a head of the game
A vicious cycle (first verse)
A snapshot of the crackrock, I'm an image that's fixed
while cats generate half a buzz like a methadone clinic
born cynic made man in the role of an optimist
obvious a contradiction-the human condition's mixed
nothing's black and white in this just a myth that exists
Still beholden to the history of dividing extremes
I'm providing the themes to define a new century
in the annals you will mention me, an avatar from distant stars
an energy and thought brought to life between bars
between lines, I see time and space all in the same rhyme
we find threads and seams between consciousness and dreams
more connections then it seems, more reflections that redeem
the belief we move in unison too few of you are tunin in
to divine theories leary of the other side rather hide
weary of the travel and unravelin mysteries that's too much for some
cause they have too much pride, so much that rides on the misery
but life should be a symphony you and me in harmony not opposed
inside a armory wishin harm to me and ready to fight or flee
I'd rather fly for infinity rather then die in infamy so into me
flows the sea of life, a tributary rife with the seeds to complete
the cycle, vital to the one, where we all come from
and where we all must return
until then I grab a pen so I can live and let learn
Its a vicious cycle
life to death just a test
I'd rather chase dreams instead of titles
who knows what time is left
Deal with what is set in motion
communication open
I
while cats generate half a buzz like a methadone clinic
born cynic made man in the role of an optimist
obvious a contradiction-the human condition's mixed
nothing's black and white in this just a myth that exists
Still beholden to the history of dividing extremes
I'm providing the themes to define a new century
in the annals you will mention me, an avatar from distant stars
an energy and thought brought to life between bars
between lines, I see time and space all in the same rhyme
we find threads and seams between consciousness and dreams
more connections then it seems, more reflections that redeem
the belief we move in unison too few of you are tunin in
to divine theories leary of the other side rather hide
weary of the travel and unravelin mysteries that's too much for some
cause they have too much pride, so much that rides on the misery
but life should be a symphony you and me in harmony not opposed
inside a armory wishin harm to me and ready to fight or flee
I'd rather fly for infinity rather then die in infamy so into me
flows the sea of life, a tributary rife with the seeds to complete
the cycle, vital to the one, where we all come from
and where we all must return
until then I grab a pen so I can live and let learn
Its a vicious cycle
life to death just a test
I'd rather chase dreams instead of titles
who knows what time is left
Deal with what is set in motion
communication open
I
-
Aethetical-Hades
- Posts: 904
- Joined: Tue May 10, 2005 3:25 pm
- Location: Georgia
- Contact:
-
Aethetical-Hades
- Posts: 904
- Joined: Tue May 10, 2005 3:25 pm
- Location: Georgia
- Contact: